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The 7 dirtiest jobs in IT
Jack Genders 
3/9/08 6:44:48 AM
Disciple

http://www.infoworld.com/article/08/03/10/11FE-dirty-tech-jobs_2.html

Dirty IT job No. 7: Legacy systems archaeologist
WANTED: INDIVIDUALS FAMILIAR WITH 3270, VAX/VMS, COBOL, AS/400, AND OTHER LEGACY SYSTEMS NO ONE ELSE REMEMBERS. MUST BE ABLE TO TYPE ENTIRELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS FOR EXTENDED PERIODS. APPLICANTS MUST MEET MINIMUM AGE REQUIREMENT OF 55.

Dirty IT job No. 6: Help desk zombie
Excellententry-level opportunity for multitasking individual with low self-esteem. Ability to read from scripts a plus. Potential to move up to bug scraper, password reset technician, or tape rotation coordinator.

Dirty IT job No. 5: On-site reboot specialist
Seeking individuals for on-site support of end-users. Must be familiar with three-fingered Ctrl-Alt-Del salute and power cord reconfiguration. Ability to withstand a variety of environments and personality types; concealed-weapons permit a plus. Individuals with anger management issues need not apply.

Dirty IT job No. 4: Interdepartmental peace negotiator
Lookingfor self-starter skilled at moderating tech disputes between warring factions within the same company or between company and its client. Must possess experience in ego-stroking, manipulative massage, and hand-to-hand combat.

Dirty IT job No. 3: Enterprise espionage engineer (black ops)
Seeking slippery individuals comfortable with lying, cheating, stealing, breaking, and entering for penetration testing of enterprise networks. Requirements include familiarity with hacking, malware, and forgery; must be able to plausibly impersonate a pest control specialist or a fire marshal. Please submit rap sheet along with resume.

Dirty IT job No. 2: Datacenter migration specialist
Position involves relocating and reconfiguring datacenter over impossible distances within a ridiculously short time frame. Prior experience as cable jockey, rack-n-stack grunt, console monkey, and/or log zombie a plus.

Dirty IT job No. 1: Sludge systems architect
Seeking individuals with demonstrated ability to squeeze over, under, or between confined spaces to solve technical problems. Candidates should be prepared to work long hours for low pay under adverse conditions. Must not be allergic to sawdust, vermin, airborne pathogens, or sewage.

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Q6600|TRUE|2GB XMS2 PC6400|HighPower 560watt|DS3P v3.3|F5|8800GT 512MB|3x 250GB SATA2|RAID5|2xLG 18x SATA DVD|NZXT Apollo|22" 226BW LCD|Logitech X-530 5.1|Logitech Wireless Keyboard & Mouse

zebra 
3/9/08 6:54:40 AM
SuperHero
Titan


<3. Awesome post. Hilarious (and too close to the truth).

z

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Specs:

I don't own a computer.

Jack Genders 
3/9/08 7:43:38 AM
Disciple

Quote by zebra
<3. Awesome post. Hilarious (and too close to the truth).

z



For me, some of them are very close to the truth. Within my company the "Dirty IT job No. 7: Legacy systems archaeologist" hits the nail right on the head.

Quoted from the article:
You'd think these old systems would have died off years ago, but larger companies -- especially in financial services, manufacturing, retail, and health care -- cling to them like drunken sailors to a lamppost.


Edited by Jack Genders: 3/9/2008 7:45:20 AM

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zebra 
3/9/08 7:57:15 AM
SuperHero
Titan


Yup. Never ceases to amaze me either dude. Constantly finding archaic cobol/sparc solutions that nobody any longer understands, in the financial sector :S.

z

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Specs:

I don't own a computer.

Jack Genders 
3/9/08 9:31:32 AM
Disciple

The legacy system for me has gone by a couple of identity changes:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AS/400

Quote for webpage:
The IBM System i is IBM's previous generation of systems designed for IBM i users, and was subsequently replaced by the IBM Power Systems in April 2008.

In 2006, the platform was rebranded to System i as part of IBM's Systems branding initiative. Previously it was known as eServer iSeries in 2000 and before that it was introduced as AS/400 in 1988.

In April 2008 IBM announced its integration with the System p platform. The unified product line is called IBM Power Systems and features support for the IBM i (previously known as i5/OS or OS/400), AIX and Linux operating systems. Previous hardware ran OS/400 exclusively.


It's all green screen baby!

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DonutKing 
3/9/08 3:37:43 PM
Hero
Guru



Dirty IT job No. 7: Legacy systems archaeologist
WANTED: INDIVIDUALS FAMILIAR WITH 3270, VAX/VMS, COBOL, AS/400, AND OTHER LEGACY SYSTEMS NO ONE ELSE REMEMBERS. MUST BE ABLE TO TYPE ENTIRELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS FOR EXTENDED PERIODS. APPLICANTS MUST MEET MINIMUM AGE REQUIREMENT OF 55.



This is surprisingly accurate, the last place I worked at used Reality X and my current place of employment uses Universe- both systems are derived from PICK which was developed in the 60's and was designed for green-screen dumb terminals. We've still got a couple of McDonnel Douglas P12 terminals here...

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lol internet


donutking_486@hotmail.com

Rybags 
3/9/08 7:33:08 PM
Hero
Immortal


AS/400 isn't that old. Only came into being around 1990 or so.

That list is missing a few. Fortran programmer. Coder needed to fix legacy applications for which most of the source code is either missing or not documented.

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Quote by Bear Grylls

Awww... it tastes like an... explosion of brain, guts and pus!

Meeko 
3/9/08 8:26:30 PM
Titan

LOL.

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G-relk 
3/9/08 10:41:44 PM
Champion

Quote by Jack Genders
Dirty IT job No. 1: Sludge systems architect
Seeking individuals with demonstrated ability to squeeze over, under, or between confined spaces to solve technical problems. Candidates should be prepared to work long hours for low pay under adverse conditions. Must not be allergic to sawdust, vermin, airborne pathogens, or sewage.



thats me. stupid shit wages for trainees :(

i need to get fat arms so i dont have to do it anymore :P

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soon to come: HD4870X2, RAID 0

PC FREAK 
4/9/08 12:23:59 AM
Guru

Quote by G-relk
Quote by Jack Genders
Dirty IT job No. 1: Sludge systems architect
Seeking individuals with demonstrated ability to squeeze over, under, or between confined spaces to solve technical problems. Candidates should be prepared to work long hours for low pay under adverse conditions. Must not be allergic to sawdust, vermin, airborne pathogens, or sewage.



thats me. stupid shit wages for trainees :(

i need to get fat arms so i dont have to do it anymore :P



nah then you become the man carrying all the tools and passing the tools.

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Game Doesnt Support Wide Screens?
http://www.atomicmpc.com.au/forums.asp?s=2&c=26&t=21
Specs:
Mac Book | 4GB RAM :)

SceptreCore 
4/9/08 12:36:06 AM
Guru

Quote by G-relk
Quote by Jack Genders
Dirty IT job No. 1: Sludge systems architect
Seeking individuals with demonstrated ability to squeeze over, under, or between confined spaces to solve technical problems. Candidates should be prepared to work long hours for low pay under adverse conditions. Must not be allergic to sawdust, vermin, airborne pathogens, or sewage.



thats me. stupid shit wages for trainees :(

i need to get fat arms so i dont have to do it anymore :P

Yeah but you don't have to crawl into tight spaces in order program conveyor belts that move human waste.... or do you? Because if you do then Dick Smith has just branched into an profitable market there.

Quote by Jack Genders
Dirty IT job No. 2: Datacenter migration specialist
Position involves relocating and reconfiguring datacenter over impossible distances within a ridiculously short time frame. Prior experience as cable jockey, rack-n-stack grunt, console monkey, and/or log zombie a plus.


My old IT lecturer could tell you a thing or two about this subject.... to relocate the data for some company she worked for... took one entire floor of teams of people in a high rise building. many servers and workstations, and a shit load of fibre optic.


Edited by SceptreCore: 4/9/2008 12:44:48 AM

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Greatest Sayings Of Our Time:
Quote by tantryl
Your mate is what we like to call "a moron".



colganaitor 
4/9/08 9:21:51 PM
Overlord

lol - I have a foreboding I'll have to do one of these jobs someday.

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John Connor: We're not gonna make it, are we? People, I mean.
The Terminator: It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.
John Connor: Yeah. Major drag, huh?

GlennsPref 
5/9/08 11:25:51 PM
Champion

if you fit No 7, The Brisbane airport needs your support. As far as I remember there is no tech that can understand the code let alone fix it.

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Regards, Glenn

Linux user #406321 (Mandriva)
register @ http://counter.li.org/
GlennsPref@gmail.com

Jack Genders 
6/9/08 9:30:11 AM
Disciple

I glad this post got some good responses :-) For me in my company all 7 in the list are pretty close to it.
I got the URL in an email from a colleague in another department and had to past it onto others.
Reading through the article I was smiling and laughing to myself, the 'Helpdesk Zombie' and 'On-site reboot specialist' are very good descriptions for the young guys doing that type of work.

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Q6600|TRUE|2GB XMS2 PC6400|HighPower 560watt|DS3P v3.3|F5|8800GT 512MB|3x 250GB SATA2|RAID5|2xLG 18x SATA DVD|NZXT Apollo|22" 226BW LCD|Logitech X-530 5.1|Logitech Wireless Keyboard & Mouse

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