Sir Sausagedog
3/5/06 8:10:21 PM
Champion
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Well finally thought I'd get round to posting these here. They've been on my blog for nearly a week, so I thought it would be nice to... share them with a wider community :P
Chuck Norris' semen cures cancer. Too bad he has erectile disfunction.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He lies awake in regret.
Chuck Norris is currently suing ABC, claiming Hope & Faith are trademarked names for his left and right breasts.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is diarrhea.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may not realize how much he's actually aged.
Chuck Norris attempted to count to infinity. Backwards. He didn't know where to start.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the chance of success. Chuck Norris wanders around aimlessly with a gun.
Chuck Norris' blood type is AK-47. The gun. It is compatible only with bullets. Chuck Norris is full of holes.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Grand Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man drives a flubing Jeep.
In fine print on the last page of the Farmers' Almanac it notes that annual rainfall figures do not include the tears shed by Chuck Norris, and the figures listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has gotten to subtracting out such overwhelming excess.
There is a double chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. No wonder he doesn't shave. -----
**Atomic Hardcore Techno-Metal Club**
Atomic MPC Weekly NRL Tipping
Me (A.K.A. Adrock) : 38 (1)
Twinair : 28 (31)
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twinair
3/5/06 8:12:13 PM
Banned
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this sounds like a personal attack against one of our forum members !
:p -----
I've been accused of being a crude cock sucking arsehole.
that's ok, i can take constructive criticism.
but if my grandmother ever says that again i'll kick her fucking head in.
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thetap
3/5/06 8:12:19 PM
Titan
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Poor Chuck :-( -----
'Pile on many more layers / And I'll be joining you there'
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chubby
3/5/06 8:13:53 PM
Overlord
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*sniff* i am offended -----
Give me a slice..
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Sir Sausagedog
3/5/06 8:16:42 PM
Champion
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Quote by chubby
*sniff* i am offended
O come on, what has Chuck done that's so good anyway? -----
**Atomic Hardcore Techno-Metal Club**
Atomic MPC Weekly NRL Tipping
Me (A.K.A. Adrock) : 38 (1)
Twinair : 28 (31)
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thetap
3/5/06 8:18:21 PM
Titan
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Total Gym Infomercial -----
'Pile on many more layers / And I'll be joining you there'
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momeeno
3/5/06 8:18:54 PM
Champion
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Quote by Sir Sausagedog
Quote by chubby
*sniff* i am offended
O come on, what has Chuck done that's so good anyway?
Taught the human race childbirth, for one. -----
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
The HSF Performance DB: http://www.atomicmpc.com.au/forums.asp?s=2&c=6&t=9457
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Shrewd
3/5/06 8:20:33 PM
Guru
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Hahahaha. Good work. :D
2, 3 and 10 = the best. -----
*chirp*
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RenascentMisanthropy
3/5/06 8:22:40 PM
Guru
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Who's Chuck Norris? -----
I'm bored.
~
http://free.000angels.com/renasc/
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RaYdeX
3/5/06 8:25:38 PM
Guru
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Quote by Sir Sausagedog
Quote by chubby
*sniff* i am offended
O come on, what has Chuck done that's so good anyway?
Oooooh lordy ! Theres literally thousands of websites devoted to exactly that ! You silly silly boy :P
I could answer you ;) -----
Dexxie,
Did you hear about the Emo Jew ?
---BEGIN SPOILER
Yeah, He used Matches instead of razor blades... Then, when it all got to much, he gassed himself... His parents just denied it ever happened though.
---END SPOILER
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miss peach
3/5/06 8:28:03 PM
Guru
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http://www.chucknorris.com/html/biog.html
I still think the funniest is the original.
-----
So, Scientology, you have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun, temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Your feeble bid to save humanity will fail!
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Sir Sausagedog
3/5/06 8:30:19 PM
Champion
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Hmm just thought I'd throw a couple more, these ones off the net though :P
Ray Charles once looked at Chuck Norris...and decided he'd rather never see again.
Chuck Norris once decided to donate sperm, but Heath Ledger refused to take it.
Chuck Norris once lost to Lance Armstrong in a sperm count. -----
**Atomic Hardcore Techno-Metal Club**
Atomic MPC Weekly NRL Tipping
Me (A.K.A. Adrock) : 38 (1)
Twinair : 28 (31)
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hlass
3/5/06 8:42:08 PM
Hero
Titan
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Quote by Sir Sausagedog
Chuck Norris once decided to donate sperm, but Heath Ledger refused to take it.
Tom Cruise however..... -----
Well that's great, that's just fuckin' great man. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now man... That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
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estate
3/5/06 10:30:11 PM
Mod
Hero
Titan
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Lol, love the anti ones - he's no match for Boonie anyway.
I saw a great Chuck Norris fact at uni today:
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
I hadn't seen it on any of the lists on here. Gold! -----
"I hope you find what you are looking for."
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Dynamics
3/5/06 10:52:23 PM
Overlord
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Refer to sig -----
Random David Boon Fact #74
David Boon once knocked a huge six into the VIP box at the MCG, hitting Chuck Norris square in the forehead and turning him into a fundamentalist christian washed-up lamewad who thinks he's a cowboy.
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pimp_joose
3/5/06 11:49:55 PM
Champion
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Heresy! -----
Check out God's love letter to the world...
John 3:16-18
http://www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?language=english&passage=John%203:16-18&version
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-M-
4/5/06 12:10:18 AM
Overlord
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Quote by estate
Lol, love the anti ones - he's no match for Boonie anyway.
I saw a great Chuck Norris fact at uni today:
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
I hadn't seen it on any of the lists on here. Gold!
Go have a look in the programming forum, we had a list going. :) -----
Keep freespace alive...donate blood!
http://www.atomicmpc.com.au/forums.asp?s=1&c=5&t=1476
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Chuck Norris(good actor
4/5/06 12:32:02 AM
Hero
Immortal
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these suck!
:P -----
Makes more sense than tourettes.
I'm one Badmotorfinger who's Screaming Life Louder than Love into the Superunkown , I'm Down on the upside but everthing's Ultramega OK .
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doridori
4/5/06 2:14:08 AM
Banned
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Chuck Norris isnt real ! apparently he's only a good actor at best ! -----
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Takoma
4/5/06 10:37:38 AM
Master
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Listen, I'm kinda new around here, and up until recently I'd been off the internet for the better part of seven years. So forgive my ignorance, but.....what the HELL is all this about chuck norris? Is this like that Hasselhoff thing, where everyone admires him for being impossibly lame? -----
"The placenta moron, fork that sweet meat over here!"
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